See the first battle, 'Clash of the Carrier Zords', for the disclaimer.

Blame the Mindless Ranks
By Peter J. Smith

Peter – Hello, and welcome to the Sports Box, located this week on the lost island of Muiranthias, for a fantastic battle that sees five platoons of everyone's favorite henchmen trying to beat each other to the prize located within the Serpent's Temple. I'll be your commentator in the Sports Box, Peter Smith.

Rocky – And I'll be your special guest commentator for this battle, Rocky DeSantos, the former Red Mighty Morphin' and Blue Zeo Ranger. Stationed at different points on the island's coastline are groups of putties, tengas, cogs, piranhatrons and quantrons, ten per army.

Peter – Rumors broke out among the evil super-villains of the galaxy this week that a magical diamond is located on the island, and each sent a platoon of their respective henchmen to get the diamond for them and bring it back.

Rocky – But to do so, they'll have to fight each other and make it safely past the Malachians and all the other traps on the island. And unlike most other future battles, this fight relies on the combatants actually having to carry out a task, rather than beat each other senseless.

Peter – And it certainly promises to be an interesting one.

Rocky – I'll say. I can't wait. Popcorn, please! And lots of it!

Peter – Earlier today, our technicians headed all over the island setting up remote cameras in the tree tops and even underwater. So Rocky and I should easily be able to keep up with the different groups of henchmen. All through the battle, we'll be switching from location to location.

Rocky – Peter, you did remember to call ahead before we got here and ask the Malachians for permission to film here, didn't you?

Peter – Yep. After that little Stone Canyon incident, I didn't want anything going wrong this week.

Rocky – That's good to hear. All right, now that everyone is set, let's get this show on the road. Dulcea, if you would.

Dulcea – I'd love to Rocky. (she picks up a microphone that broadcasts to hidden speakers all over Muiranthias) Let the battle begin!

Peter – All right, all henchmen are on the move. Crossing first to the putty patrol, I see the ten putties have gotten off to fine start, racing away from the starting line on the beach and into the dense jungle. The warriors soon run into a large group of Malachians, but they easily battle their way through and continue.

Rocky – The piranhatrons have also gotten off to a fine start, leaving their starting position underwater, surfacing, crossing the beach and onto the plain, putting them in plain sight. They realize it though, and race towards the forest.

Peter – Just in time, too, as the tengas fly low over the plain, on the lookout for any opponents. As they land and continue towards the island's interior, I think that it's safe to say they didn't see the piranhatrons.

Rocky – Not to cut you off, Peter, but both of the robotic armies, the cogs and quantrons, are racing towards the Serpent's Temple almost within view, each being hidden from the other by a low ridge.

Peter – Wait a second – the quantrons have heard the cogs, and they're charging up and over the ridge.

Rocky – The cogs, realizing that they may be in trouble, all run and hide in a small cave. That's funny – Zordon said cogs didn't have fear. Anyway, that was a lucky break – the quantrons have reached the bottom of the ridge, and they go right past the hiding cogs.

Peter – And straight into the platoon of putties that are currently emerging from the forest! The two armies immediately begin fighting, but the putties look to be sorely outclassed here.

Rocky – You said it. The putties are not doing very well.

Peter – No they're not. The putties are fighting well, but they've already lost a few. The battle is definitely against them. The last putty has just fallen, being ripped in half by the quantrons. The battle is over.

Rocky – Ouch. But undefeated, the quantrons move on.

Peter – But as the army of quantrons walk by a cliff, they've been ambushed by tengas, who leap out of hiding and run towards them. Wait a second, the birds don't go anywhere near them, racing right past them and lifting off.

Rocky – They've flown to the top of the cliff, and immediately, they've gone to a pile of rocks. And they've started to push…they're gonna start an avalanche!

Peter – The quantrons wonder what the tengas are doing, but only too late do they realize just what the tengas were up to, as dozens of huge boulders come crashing down the cliff, immediately burying all ten quantrons under a huge pile of rocks!

Rocky – Whoa. No one expected the quantrons to be taken out so soon. They were the favorite in the Muiranthias gambling rooms here today.

Peter – Yeah, I know. The tengas have lifted off again, and catching an air current, they glide over towards the Serpent's Temple.

Rocky – Crossing back to the piranhatrons, they appear to have made it all the way to the lake without meeting any enemies. And once underwater, the fish-like warriors are sure to be uncatchable.

Peter – Whoa! A giant brown and grey mud monster has risen from the mud alongside the lake. It turns slowly and, catching sight of the piranhatrons, begins to race along the beach towards them.

Rocky – The monster has almost caught up to the fleeing piranhatrons who are all instinctively heading for the water. It must be hard to run when the ground is shaking like that…

Peter – Wow. All ten piranhatrons have performed perfect ten point dives into the lake and disappeared from view. The mud monster stops but instead of following them, it turns and lumbers away. I'm guessing a creature made out of mud doesn't have a swimming abilities.

Rocky – Switching to the underwater-cam, we see the piranhatrons all reaching the bottom of the lake and continuing in the direction of the temple.

Peter – Yep. That lake leads to water-logged caves which lead directly into the Serpent's Temple.

Rocky – I didn't know that those caves led right up into the temple.

Peter – (nodding) Once the volcano erupted, the lava in the caves beneath was all kinda used up, and before more lava could rise, water entered the caves, causing the molten lava to cool and solidify.

Rocky – Cool. Speaking of the temple, now would be a great time to cross to our ringside commentator. Ecliptor, you there?

Ecliptor – You bet, guys. I'm here inside the Serpent's Temple, and the diamond is right here beside me.

Rocky – Can you give us some thoughts on the fight at hand, Ecliptor?

Ecliptor – Sure thing, Rocko. Well, no one expected the quantrons to be out of things so quickly, but we all knew the putties wouldn't last long. They were always the least capable of the assorted evil henchmen. The tengas have a huge advantage with their flight, and the piranhatrons can swim, giving them a huge advantage, but if the cogs reach a really deep canyon or a lake, they're in trouble.

Rocky – So what do you think will happen?

Ecliptor – I think we can expect to see some Zeo-related tensions to surface between the cogs and tengas, and while they all kill each other, the piranhatrons will triumph. Back to you guys.

Peter – Many thanks, Ecliptor.

Rocky – Whoa! A giant pterodactyl has appeared in the skies above the island, forcing the tengas into evasive maneuvers. They all dive down low, but the pterodactyl follows, snapping and screeching at the birds.

Peter – The pterodactyl flies past them and has turned back towards them. The tengas all dive down through the canopy of the forest and into safety.

Rocky – Where they immediately run into the army of cogs! Ecliptor was right!

Peter – And as the platoon of tengas wade into the small army of cogs, neither side appear to get anywhere. The tengas are slicing and dicing with their claws and attacking with their beaks, but the cogs, with their eye-lasers and impenetrable metal skin, are just too tough.

Rocky – Several cogs have fallen, but all the tengas are still battling. Wait a minute, the tengas appear to be backing off. Some of them have even turned and started to run in the opposite direction. What the…?

Peter – One of the cogs has fallen in a puddle of purple goo! That's why the tengas are turning and flying away!

Rocky – Looks like the tengas are still afraid of the color purple after they were blown up by Ivan Ooze in the MMPR movie.

Peter – And after all that therapy, too. Well, as the cogs recover, let's switch back to the underwater-cam to have a look at what the piranhatrons are up to.

Rocky – Hey, check that out! There's a giant aqua and green sea serpent guarding the underwater entrance to the temple. The piranhatrons have stopped and are all floating in the water together. They appear to be trying to figure out a way to get past the serpent.

Dulcea – Hang on, we didn't have a sea serpent in the lake as one of the obstacles.

Peter – Yeah I know. I had to raid Divatox's private zoo for that one.

Dulcea – (smiling) Good thinking, Peter.

Peter – Thanks. The serpent has lunged at the piranhatrons. They nimbly swim out of the way, but the serpent is much more agile, turning back towards them.

Rocky – The snake snaps at a piranhatron, but the warrior swims up escapes the serpent by a matter of millimetres.

Peter – That same piranhatron continues to swim away from the scene, but the sea serpent quickly follows it.

Rocky – But it's only a diversion! The other nine piranhatron quickly swim by and enter the cave. And finally, the last piranhatron puts in a burst of speed and gets away from the snake, entering the submerged cave and joining the others. Hey, it looks like Ecliptor might have been right about that one, too.

Peter – Let's not forget, they've got a while to go yet. Let's go back to the cogs. They've moved on, reaching the last obstacle before the temple – a canyon with bursts of flame regularly shooting out of holes in the ground and walls. They all gather around together.

Rocky – It seems like they're using their keen mechanical minds to figure out a way through. They approach the canyon…

Peter – And the first cog has leapt into the canyon, dodging a burst of fire and diving under a flame-burst from the canyon walls! He then continues quickly, jumping one way, then the other to avoid two simultaneous fireballs. He pauses for a microsecond before diving over a flame-burst and out of the canyon. He made it.

Rocky – The other cogs all follow, repeating his exact same moves, leaping past the fireballs with ease. Oh – the final cog got caught in a fireball, reducing the cogs by another one, but that doesn't seem to faze them as they continue towards the temple.

Peter – Hey Rocky, I don't mean to interrupt, but where did Dulcea go?

Rocky – Out the back. We're having some trouble with rioting Malachians.

Peter – We are?

Rocky – Yeah. Since we're filming from their island, they're demanding a cut of the profits on some legal technicality.

Peter – They are?

Rocky – (nodding) Apparently those mud huts and ceremonial masks just don't pay for themselves.

Suddenly, the back door of the Sports Box flies open, and a Malachian comes crashing past Rocky and Peter, hits the ground and rolls out the front door. The sound of Dulcea twirling her staff can be heard in the background.

Peter – Everyone is just too darn greedy in this day and age.

Rocky – Couldn't agree with you more, Pete. Anyway, let's get back to the battle – the cogs have cleared the fire canyon, and reaching the entrance to the temple, they charge inside.

Ecliptor – (waving diamond around) Come and get it, metal-heads!

Peter – Ecliptor, you're only supposed to watch, not participate.

Ecliptor – I'm not? Damn…

Peter – But wait a second! The piranhatrons have surfaced in the pool of water in the centre of the cave and have climbed out. With the cogs on one side of the room, and the piranhatrons in the middle, it's a classic two-way standoff.

Ecliptor – (dropping the diamond and quickly darting to the side of the room) Whoa, now things are gonna get interesting.

Rocky – I'll say. It's a tense standoff – both sides stand silently and try to work out the opposition. The piranhatrons still have all their numbers, but the cogs seem to be down to about seven.

Peter – The piranhatrons attack first, racing forward to meet the cogs in the center of the room. The cogs race forward as well, and the battle is on!

Rocky – Several piranhatrons tag-team one lone cog. He ducks under some high kicks but is knocked back by a roundhouse punch! Several more cogs have to come to his aid, and they blast the piranhatrons with their eye-lasers.

Peter – It appears to have worked. The stunned piranhatrons all back off. Several more battles are occuring even as we speak, but in all, it appears that the piranhatron gain the upper hand only to lose it when the cogs send forth laser blasts.

Rocky – Their previous positions have now reversed – all the piranhatrons are now on the edge of the room, while the cogs are in the center.

Peter – Suddenly, all ten piranhatrons leap forward in a single line, smashing into the cogs and ramming them backwards using sheer brute strength. I wonder what they're doing…

Rocky – They continue to push the cogs back…back towards the pool of water! Yes, the piranhatrons have reached the pool of water and with one last shove, all of the cogs fall into the water and short out.

Peter – Good thinking from the fish warriors leaves them without any more opponents. And, as the piranhatrons go back for the diamond that is still lying on the ground, I do believe that we have a …

Suddenly, the door to the cave flies open, drawing everyone's attention. Several forms can be seen through the mist, silhouetted against the sunlight outside. Stepping out of the mist and into the room, they soon become clearly visible.

Rocky – Wait a minute, those are the quantrons! The quantrons survived the avalanche, and have come to seek the prize! Wow!

Peter – Yeah, we all knew the quantrons were the favorite today, but we never knew they were that tough! And look, the piranhatrons drop the diamond and run! They certainly know not to pick a fight.

Rocky – Whoa, thank goodness we set up all those cameras in the temple this morning.

Peter – You're right there, Rocky. And as the lead quantron bends down and picks up the magic diamond, I think it's fairly safe to say that we have the winners for this battle – the quantrons have most definitely proven themselves to be the strongest of the henchmen here today.

Rocky – Uh Peter? Can we trust them with that magic jewel? I mean, shouldn't we get that thing off of them?

Peter – Good point. Ah, I'll send Ecliptor after them. They still trust him.

Rocky – Cool. So, wrapping this fight up, this has been Rocky DeSantos and Peter…

He is cut off as Dulcea bursts through the rear door. After locking it securely, she turns and walks over to Peter and Rocky.

Dulcea – Boys, I think we may have to leave. The Malachians are so desperate for some of our profit they've gone ballistic.

Peter – They're not chanting the name of some horrible drooling volcano demon, are they?

Dulcea – Well, it depends upon your perspective.

Suddenly, the Malachians burst through the door and into the Sports Box. Instead of chanting, 'Maligore! Maligore!' they are heard chanting, 'Lawyer! Lawyer!'

Peter – Well, Rocky, it's been great working with you, but I really think that we should get going.

Rocky – I think you might be right. Oh well, it's been fun. See ya round!

Rocky, Peter, and Dulcea all race out of the Sports Box and split up, each being pursued by a small group of Malachians.

Peter – So, from fleeing through dense, leafy jungle, be sure to join me again next week when I'll be broadcasting live from downtown Angel Grove. This has been Peter Smith, signing off. (he dashes right to avoid several Malachians that have suddenly appeared in front of him) Darn it, where's a certain pirate queen when you really need her?

B>Petb£